she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
