then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
