people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize