I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
