Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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