I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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