: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
