No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
