Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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