I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize