what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
