This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
pray to the hookup gods
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
