So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm way too hungover for life right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
