Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
