8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm like, not good at living.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
