So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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