Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
