dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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