either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
