Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
