like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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