Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
