Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
