at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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