come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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