we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am naked and annoyed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
false alarm, still single
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
