It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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