I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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