I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
