Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
