why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize