I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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