Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I'm really busy with my period
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
