Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
