I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
