its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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