No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
