and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize