i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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