so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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