i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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