We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've blown a few things in my day
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize