what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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