Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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