I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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