Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize