thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
