I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
