My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
