Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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