They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize
