elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
