Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
