i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I party with great urgency now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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