see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
