if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
