Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We had to coat check the pizza.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
