Sponge bath it is.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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