Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
