Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Everyone says I win the strip club
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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